This was post was written back in November, because of certain circumstances, made obvious in this post, I have not been able to log onto this site since then.so without further ado:
This week has been probably the most spiritually stressful week in my life. Sunday night a guy cussed me out because I said that I wasnt going to vote for Obama. He let loose a string of insults insulting my personality, my relationship with Christ, my past relationship with my former girlfriend, and many other things.
On Monday i got a text from a girl from my old high school that has harassed me for being prolife before. (I've blocked her from all social media platforms that I am on to avoid harassment). In her text she accused me of being a racist because I was prolife. I informed her, what I had said before, that my convictions of being prolife came from The Lord and that he convicted me to stand up for the millions being slaughtered. I told her that this was America and the great thing about our country was that we all had the right to have our own views and/or opinions. I informed her that I respected that she had her views but I would never attack her or harass her, especially out of the blue like this. I nicely asked her not to text me anymore and wished her well. Ha. That conversation ended, but just with her. Within minutes of me sending that text to her, I received several text from people don't even know, harassing me, insulting me, accusing me of things, and saying things about me that were not even the slightest bit true. I was shocked because I hardly knew this girl and the people who she got to text me I barely knew. I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about either. I hadn't seen or heard from any of these folks for over a year, and some even since I was in high school. This whole ordeal upset me but I was reminded of what Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 2, "We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts......We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else..." And in Galatians 1, " Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." When God convicted me to stand up for the Life of the unborn, I knew that it wasn't about me or about what people thought of me. I was serving him and trying to help the unborn.
It was right after this string of text message harassments that I received a call from my best friend and brother in Christ. He, like the always faithful and encouraging Barnabas, told me how those people will never understand. He said that he was proud of me and that he knew my heart and my intentions and reassured me that God did too. He told me how, to these people, it seemed as though I was taking away their freedoms. They are worldly people who know nothing of the wonders and amazement of Christ. The devil was clearly using them to try to get me down in this stressful week.
Tuesday was the election and it was my first time to vote for president. I stated why I voted the way i did in my previous post. Needless to say I was quite disappointed by the results of the election. It wasn't about me or the person who got elected, to me this election was first and foremost about the abortion issue. The candidate who won, has,for the past 4 years, funded and supported the death of over 4 million innocent children. I had been praying all day for the election. I prayed that he would not get re-elected simply in order to save the lives of more children. When the results were announced, my heart sank. My heart ached for the millions of lives that had been and will be lost in the coming years. Wednesday at church I was reminded that we were not of this world. The president has nothing on us. No matter who is president, Jesus is King, and I serve the King! The king wins in the end and that all those people who voted for the death of those millions will one day be held accountable for their sin. I was reminded that we as believers are on this earth to bring more people to Christ. That is our goal, and we should never stop thriving to do that.
Thursday night was the worst. You've heard of spiritual warfare, right!? Well I experienced it in full force.
Being the President of Mississippi State University's Students For Life chapter, I was contacted a month ago by a woman who was on the board of directors of a committee that had been, for the past two years, laying the foundation and frame work to open up a Pregnancy Care Center in Starkville. Starkville is the only SEC town without some type if pregnancy center. This woman came to speak to our group and tell us about the center and their plans for it. A couple weeks later she informed me of an event that they were going o have to reveal themselves to and inform the community. She asked if I was interested in saying the ending prayer at the event and I said yes. Well I was nervous, but I knew The Lord would give me strength.
The prayer went well. But after I did the prayer and walked back to the back of the big room to help at the concession stands with my group. My stress was gone and i was happy. Praise The Lord! Well, as I looked towards the crowd from behind, I saw a familiar person. I only saw the back of their head and their unique adorable nose. The person turned around for a brief second and lo and behold sitting on the back row of the seats in the audience was none other than the face of an angel. The face of the only woman I have ever loved. A woman of God who had deserted me without reason. The woman who caused me more pain and agony than anything else in my life. The woman who was the cause of almost 4 months of depression and confusion. The face of the woman of God who, despite what she did to me, still had my heart. A woman that I still loved. I still can't see myself being married to anybody else but her. I haven't seen her since she left me and ripped my heart out. I have finally gotten to a time in my life where I was not haunted every day with the memory of her and the future we had planned. I've been great for the past couple months thanks to The Lord and my mentors! I have change so much and have grown more in Christ since she left me. Well seeing her brought it all back. I started shaking and freaking out. I kept telling myself that "tonight wasn't about me or her, it was about The Lord and serving him." I literally felt like The Lord and satan were playing tug of war in my mind and in my chest. It literally felt like that! It's so weird! I went up to my assistant pastor who had been a mentor to me for over a year. He's a really nice grandfatherly like guy. I told him that she was there and he hugged me and said "look, you did great in your prayer! This is about The Lord! He wins in the end! You're doing the right thing! Keep doing what he tells you and don't start thinking about these silly things!" It really helped having him there. He kept going up to me and giving me encouraging words and hugging me! He was the first person I talked to in person about my break up after my parents. He gave me advice and some verses that gave me the strength to carry on.
I prayed and read some verses that he gave me when she left me 8 months ago, that have continued To give strength. But it was still a tug of war going on (keep in mind that this is all happening during the presentation of the event). You know how in the old cartoons, the characters have an angel and the devil on each shoulder telling them conflicting things? Well it was like that! God was telling me to forget about it and that it was all about him and bringing him glory and helping the Children which he had called me to help. And Satan was telling me "look at her! She came here to upset you! She knew this was a big night for you and she came here to make you mess up and distract you! She's a terrible person! Just leave this place so you won't have to deal with her!" I know her heart and I knew she would never do that. I knew it was Satan attacking me. It got to be so bad that I had to walk outside get down on my knees in the grass and just pray. I prayed for The Lord to deliver me from this situation and to give me strength. I prayed so hard... And I said out loud "satan! Get your trash thoughts out of here! Get behind me and leave me!" I took a deep breath of the nice autumn air, got on my feet, walked inside, splashed some water on my face from the water fountain and I felt like a weight had been lifted from me. All was well.
Well that was only half of it
When things were going alright, I was sitting there and my friend who has always been a person of spiritual encouragement for me, gets up and is walking towards the concession table. And she just falls out and feints and hits the table. A bunch of us jumped up and ran to her. Luckily there were 2 doctors there and a few nurses. They got up and took her out to the lobby. Pretty much all the folks (prolly about 8) that were there from my church (which my friend also goes to) went in the lobby too. She was okay but they didnt know why she feinted. Her mom took her home, to see her dad, who is doctor here in town. So I knew that she would be fine with him at home. Anywho. That was another way Satan was trying to distract me and upset me
I stayed till the end to collect donations and help clean up. The event was a great success! We raised several thousands of dollars plus commitments from several people!
I was so worn out after that! I felt like a battle had been going on in my mind and heart the entire night, and I was just ravaged with the exhausted feeling of having to fight a battle. My mom reminded me of something when I got home. She said "God put a blind fold over your eyes when you went up to pray" and I was like huh? And she then elaborated, "what if you had seen her before you went up there? Or what if you had seen her right as you told everyone to bow their heads? You would've freaked out and been so nervous! God protected you during the time that you were praying in front of those people!" I hadn't even thought about that. It's amazing.
That night I felt the strong but puny work of the devil and the strong amazing strength of God beating him and protecting me! As stressful as the whole thing was, it is amazing looking back on it. The Lord won! I submitted it all to him and he fought my battle for me and I could actually literally see/feel it happening. I know that The Lord is my strength, and that, like the scripture says, he will fight our battles for us if we let him. I will never forget That night of November 8, 2012
This whole ordeal made me realize just how true the word to this song by Chris Tomlin are:
You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light
Whom shall I fear?
You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though trouble linger still
Whom shall I fear?
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies is always by my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies is always by my side
My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I'm holding on to Your promises
You are faithful
You are faithful
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Giving Up our life for the sake of Christ and the Gospel
The media has made Jeffress out to be a hateful person because of what he preaches. They act like it is something new and terrible, when in reality,he is teaching what the Bible says and what the Christian Church has been teaching for close to 2,000 years now. Jeffress teaches that homosexuality is a sin, just like any other sin. The media uses this to say he is "homophobic" and hateful to those people. He also preaches the core belief of Christianity, that Faith Alone in Jesus Christ alone is the only way to get to heaven, and anything that teaches otherwise is a lie "from Hell". The media has used this to say that he is hateful towards all other religions. He also has expressed his concern in President Obama's policies. He says that the president's policies are bordering on socialism and are leading the way for the anti-Christ. The media has used that saying that Jeffress claims that President Obama is the anti-Christ.
A simple look into the context of the actual sermons from Dr Jeffress easily refutes the claims that the media has made, and a simple look at the Bible shows that these claims are not hateful in any sense and are hardly anything new.
Tebow, on the other hand, chose to avoid the media fire that might erupt if he spoke at that church. His image would be tarnished in the eyes of the public for being associated with such a "hateful" person like Jeffress. One can understand the reasons behind that decision.
If I were Tebow in this situation, I would've handled it differently. Little does the media know, that Tebow actually holds to the same beliefs that Dr Jeffress does. He has made a name for himself as a devoted Christian football player and is very well respected by people of many faiths. If I were him, I would've held a press conference to explain those views and shown how they, if read in context, are not hateful or bigoted at all. I would've shared the Good News of Christ's love with the world. By "wimping out" because of controversy, he goes against his beliefs and insults the very God he claims to worship and serve. Christ said, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it."(Mark 8:34-35).
This issue makes me realize just how important it is to stand up for the truth of Christ. Later on Christ says, "And what do you benifit if you gain the whole world but lose your soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? If annyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory of his Father with the holy angels."(Mark 8:36-38).
Now, I know that Tim Tebow is a great man of God and has the best intentions, but I cannot help but be depressed and let down by his recent actions of collapsing under pressure. I agree with what Dr. Jeffress said, “I am grateful for men of God like these who are willing to stand up and act like men rather than wimping out when it gets a little controversial and an inconvenient thing to stand for the truth. God bless men like that.”.
I have come under fire for my beliefs many times. I have had my life threatened multiple times, my family's lives threatened, I have lost many friends and the respect of many people in my town. If this whole thing was about me, I would've fallen under pressure years ago. But this is not about me. My life has but one purpose: to serve the Lord with all my heart. He died the most agonizing death so that I would not have to suffer eternally.He loves me so much that he did that for me. I know I am unworthy of such treatment, but he shows what true love is.
To those of you reading this, remember to stand strong in the faith and always be willing to give the truth and Good news to all that you encounter and never collapse under pressure when you know that what you are doing is right in God's eyes.
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